everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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