Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
