we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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