Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
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Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
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i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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