If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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