it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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