so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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