If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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