worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My vagina is officially offended.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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