I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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