I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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