its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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