He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
