My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
