the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
