I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
