I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
