Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize