He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
