...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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