had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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