I hate all girls vehemently.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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