is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i out mim tonsoeep
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