Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
either way he was missing a nipple.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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