im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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