Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
