That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
zippers are such a cool invention
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
