drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
bring money and cleavage
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's never too late to be topless.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
