Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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