There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
