Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
