so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
