Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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