all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
