I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
