I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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