my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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