We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
