Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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