the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Let's paint friendship bongs
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
