I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
