who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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