Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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