I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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