So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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