White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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