someone threw a dead crab at me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
