guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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