He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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