16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
