Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

i dont know whats so great about being respectable.

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(563): View more from Iowa

I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.

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(619): View more from California

its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.

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(630): View more from Illinois

They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me

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(360): View more from Washington

She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit

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(843): View more from South Carolina

AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.

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