Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
