Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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