I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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