Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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