Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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