yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
