yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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