I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
