dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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