Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
